The Curates Egg

I realize I have strayed away from the original corny joke idea so this months is very  corny. In fact so much so that I panicked and added something for the more discerning pallet (or those like me who enjoy both) ..........

A frog goes into a bank and walks up to the counter, reads the tellers name from her name plate and says, "I would like to have a loan from this bank Mrs Wack".

The teller says "certainly sir but I will need your details on the application form"."Your name please".

"Kermit" says the frog.

Kermit what says the teller.

"Kermit Jagger"

"I suppose you are going to tell me you are related to Mick Jagger." says the teller.

"Well, yes", replies the frog, "he's my father".

And so the form gets filled in until she gets to the question about securityfor the loan."What security are you offering against this loan Mr Jagger" asks the teller. Kermit pulls a small plastic elephant from his back pocket and explains that this is his security.At this the exasperated teller rushes off and gets the manager.On his arrival at the counter the manager runs through the form with the teller and Kermit inspects the plastic elephant then turns to the teller and says,.................

 "This is a nick nack Mrs Wack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".

Plus:-

Lexical Gymnastics

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some winners:

Tatyr:   a lecherous Mr. Potato Head.

Doltergeist;   a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

Sarchasm:    the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

Reintarnation:    coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Inoculatte:    to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis:     terminal coolness.

Taterfamilias:     the head of the Potato Head family.

Guillozine:    a magazine for executioners.

Osteopornosis:  a degenerate disease.

Burglesque:  a poorly planned break-in. (See Watergate)

Giraffiti:    vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Karmageddon:       It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Glibido:  all talk and no action.

Deifenestration:    to throw all talk of God out the window.

Dopeler effect:    the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Foreploy:       any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

Intaxication:      euphoria at getting a refund from the tax man, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Glutton for punishment?...........More jokes here.